Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.
Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet. That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
The light at the end of the tunnel is actually Chuck Norris holding a flashlight.
Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures. Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
Chuck Norris once had a bet with the Hulk, the loser had to paint himself green.