Two Arabs are sitting in the Gaza Strip chatting over a pint of goats milk. One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. "Here's my second son. He's a martyr too!" After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab wistfully says , They blow up so fast, don't they?"
My husband added some spice to our marriage. He's left home.
I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once, I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!
What happened to the blond ice hockey team? They drown at spring training.
A preacher goes into a bar and says "Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up." Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says "My son, don't you want to go to heaven when you die?" The drunk says "When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking a load up now."
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired? It got toad!!
What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back!
What’s the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic? Drunks don’t have to go to the meetings.