Best jokes ever

What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
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has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, marriage, wife
CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe." Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work." Company softball team downsized to chess team. Company president now driving a Hyundai. Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
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has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: business, car, IT, management, work
"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?" "Sure, why do you ask." "I was going to offer you some toast." "How kind of... I'll accept." "Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger." "You're right about that!" "Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"
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has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, time
Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck. Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
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has 36.21 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: desert island, disgusting, marriage, time, women
Chuck Norris stem cells can reproduce missing limbs.
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has 36.21 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
How does a gay man fake an orgasm? He spits on his partners back.
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has 36.20 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
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has 36.16 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor
Two Arabs are sitting in the Gaza Strip chatting over a pint of goats milk. One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. "Here's my second son. He's a martyr too!" After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab wistfully says , They blow up so fast, don't they?"
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has 36.16 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: What did Jesus tell the Mexicans just before he died? A: Act stupid until I get back.
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has 36.16 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: christian, death, mexican, racist, religious
My husband added some spice to our marriage. He's left home.
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has 36.10 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage
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