Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon.
Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded,
"If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!"
The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."
She is so blonde, when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went back home.
Yo mama's so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her.
What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?
Crib death.
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Girlfriend left but my heart is not broken...
My heart is not made in China!
How fast can a women drive? 68 mph.
If she hits 69, she flips over and blows a rod.
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
"Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones!"
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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