I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
After 8 rounds the boxer comes back in his corner, extremely grinded.
The couch says to him:
You should better take a decision!
You want the champion title or the Nobel for peace...
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!", the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
Q: WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer--do you have a locker room in the police station--a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A: Yes sir, we do.
What did the idiot call his pet zebra?
Spot!
A pirate walks into a bar and sits down.
The bartender walks over to him and says "Hey, I couldn't help but notice when you walked in.
Is that a steering wheel hung between your legs?"
"Aye!" replied the pirate, "And it's drivin' me nuts!"
Our new midfielder cost ten million.
I call him our wonder player.
How come?
Every time he plays I wonder “why the fuck did I bothered to buy him”!
I thought I told you to lose weight.
Says the coach.
What happened to your three week diet that I told you to keep?
Well, I finished it in three days!
What did the dog say to the hot dog bun?
"Are you pure bred?"
How do you entertain a blonde?
tell her to find a corner in a circle room