Yo mama's so lactose intolerant, human kindness makes her throw up!
Yo mama's so technologically unsavvy, she leaves out pieces of cheese next to the computer!
Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married? A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a wristwatch. He always knows when it's time to kick some ass.
Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common? A: Put either of 'em in a car and they're fucked.
Christano Roanaldo dives because he thinks of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.