Q: What do you call a Jew with a mental disability?
A: Auschwitztic.
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Elmore walked into his favorite truck stop cafe and said to the owner, "Hey, Roy, you wanna take a chance on a raffle?"
"Whada ya win?"
"A million dollars!" said the redneck.
"You get a dollar a year for a million years."
"How much are they each?"
"Ten cents.
Two for a quarter.
Or three for half a dollar!"
Little Johnny wasn't a very good at speller.
One day, during a spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard.
"Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?"
After thinking a few seconds, Johnny said, "Canoe?"
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What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape?
The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
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Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb ?
A: None. They can't turn them on anyway.
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.
I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.
Yo Mama has touched more knobs then the gas man.
Two boys have taken part in IQ tests at the well-known psychologist.
The first boy has opened the door after 30 minutes of testing and has screamed: "wow, perfect, unbelievable, I have 60 points, I have 60 points!"
After another 30 minutes has opened the door the second boy and has screamed: "wow, super, I have 62 points, I have 62 points!"
They sat down and asked each other: "and what does it mean, that you have 60 points and I have 62 points? Let us ask the psychologist what does it mean?"
The psychologist has said: "the 60 and 62 points means that you are both idiots."
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
A bull pull.
Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.
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