A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Oh Goddammit, no! We don't like jokes in here and if you guys are a part of one, you're gonna have to leave right now!" So the catholic priest, rabbi, and atheist leave the bar and a chicken walks in. The bartender says, "OH COME ON! We don't serve CHICKENS in here!" The chicken says, "Do you know somewhere that does?" The bartender says, "Yeah.." The chicken asks, "Well, where is it?" The bartender says, "It's across the road."
Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
Once Chuck Norris went back in time and kicked a ball. When it landed it wiped out the dinosaurs.
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter? A: Because their lips will get chapped!
Yo mama is so stupid, she did her dad last night.
A brunnette and a red haid were riding in the front of a pickup truck the blonde was in the back. The truck crashed into the lake and the redhead and the brunnette made it to shore quickly but it took the blonde ten min. They asked when she got there, "What took so long"? The blonde replied, " I had to get the tailgate open".
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.
The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".
Chuck Norris is the only person that can stab you with a basketball- Brandon De La Riva.