Christano Roanaldo dives because he thinks of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us.
The only difference is, then he kills people.
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What do you say when you see your TV floating in the dark?
"Drop it nigger!"
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Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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So that there be less strife
May your dreams be sweet
And your ass does not tweet tonight.
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My husband added some spice to our marriage.
He's left home.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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Q: What's the difference between an epyleptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diahrrea?
A: One shucks between fits.
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Q: Why do fat, ugly women give the best blow jobs?
A: Because they have to!
Your mama is so black you can only see her eyes and teeth at night.
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