Why don't sharks eat niggers? They think it's whale shit.
A brunnette and a red haid were riding in the front of a pickup truck the blonde was in the back. The truck crashed into the lake and the redhead and the brunnette made it to shore quickly but it took the blonde ten min. They asked when she got there, "What took so long"? The blonde replied, " I had to get the tailgate open".
Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York. When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde,"I'm sorry. Your ticket isn't for first class. Could you please move to your seat." The blonde replied,"Im blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." The attendant said,"That's fine miss, but you'll have to go to your seat." The blonde responded again, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." This conversation continued, always with the blonde's same response. The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde. The captain went and whispered something in the blonde's ear and the blonde immeadiately got up and went to her seat in coach. The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move. He said, "I just told her that this part of the plane wasn't going to New York."
Q: What's the difference between an Aboriginal and a park bench? A: The park bench can support a family of five but the Aboriginal can't.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.
The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".
Chuck Norris is the only person that can stab you with a basketball- Brandon De La Riva.
The wind of Chuck Norris's round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away.