Q: What's the difference between an epyleptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diahrrea?
A: One shucks between fits.
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My husband added some spice to our marriage.
He's left home.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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Q: What do you use when white people tell you to erase their history?
A: White out.
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Q: Why do fat, ugly women give the best blow jobs?
A: Because they have to!
Your mama is so black you can only see her eyes and teeth at night.
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Elmore walked into his favorite truck stop cafe and said to the owner, "Hey, Roy, you wanna take a chance on a raffle?"
"Whada ya win?"
"A million dollars!" said the redneck.
"You get a dollar a year for a million years."
"How much are they each?"
"Ten cents.
Two for a quarter.
Or three for half a dollar!"
Little Johnny wasn't a very good at speller.
One day, during a spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard.
"Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?"
After thinking a few seconds, Johnny said, "Canoe?"
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Q: How long does it take a black lady to shit?
A: About 9 months.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.
I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.