Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
Vote:
Christano Roanaldo dives because he thinks of Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
Vote:
Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us.
The only difference is, then he kills people.
Vote:
My husband added some spice to our marriage.
He's left home.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between an epyleptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diahrrea?
A: One shucks between fits.
Vote:
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Q: Why do fat, ugly women give the best blow jobs?
A: Because they have to!