Best jokes ever

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."
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has 34.25 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, cat, disgusting, time
Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
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has 34.25 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, geek, IT, technology
Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
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has 34.25 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, weather
Awwww, kids. They blow up so fast... Get it, kids grow up so fast.
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has 34.25 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, time
Q: Why Are black peoples hands and feet white? A: When God painted them he told them to assume the position
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has 34.22 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: black people, god
Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
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has 34.20 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, terrorist
One day a man got on the bus and saw a nun. He started to have sexual Thoughts about her and tried to stop but she looked so good that he couldn't Stop. So once she got off the bus the man asked the bus driver if he knew Where she was going. The bus driver said to meet the nun at the church at 8:0op.m dressed like jesus. He went there dressed like jesus. This Surprised the nun and she asked him what she needed to do and he said have anal sex with him. Afterwards, the man said I have a confession to make and he told her he wasn't jesus but the man on the bus. The nun then said she had a confession also. She was the busdriver..
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has 34.20 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: god, sex, time
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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has 34.19 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris doesn't need money he gets everything for free.
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has 34.19 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
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has 34.19 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, kids
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