The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller?
A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
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Why are black people good at basketball?
Because they run, shoot and steal.
Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers.
When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing.
"Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?"
"I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"
Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
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Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray?
A: Family research.
What do you call a nigger with a regular job, who doesn’t drive a lowrider, sleeps in the same bed every night, doesn’t collect welfare, and doesn’t rape White women?
An inmate.
Q: What's the difference between a bullet and a Jew?
A: A bullet actually comes out of its chamber.
Q: How do Asians name their babies?
A: They throw a can down the stairs.
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Q: Why do black people lean to the center of their car?
A: They think the smell is coming from the outside.
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