Chuck Norris found Nemo with his eyes closed.
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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller?
A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
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Why are black people good at basketball?
Because they run, shoot and steal.
Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
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Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers.
When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing.
"Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?"
"I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"
So a jew, a homosexual and a black man walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Get the fuck out!"
Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray?
A: Family research.
Q: What's the difference between a bullet and a Jew?
A: A bullet actually comes out of its chamber.
Q: How do Asians name their babies?
A: They throw a can down the stairs.
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