What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
Q: Why can't white people swim?
A: Cause they get soggy.
Vote:
Teacher: "In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?"
Pupil: "Holding up the telegraph lines!"
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
Vote:
When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so short, she has to cuff up her panties.
If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem.
If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.
A grasshopper walks into a pub, pulls up a stool, and orders beer.
The bartender gives him a mug and says, "you know, we have a drink named after you."
And the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob?"