Q: Why can't white people swim?
A: Cause they get soggy.
Vote:
Teacher: "In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?"
Pupil: "Holding up the telegraph lines!"
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
Vote:
When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so short, she has to cuff up her panties.
Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."
Why do people like to borrow money in Alaska?
Because they have Fairbanks!
Why did the mobster put his money in the freezer?
He liked cold hard cash!