Best jokes ever

Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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has 34.40 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
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has 34.40 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat? And they look at you and say they don't know. And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'.
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has 34.40 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
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has 34.40 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris is a hunter. But Chuck Norris does not hunt. That implies the possibility of failure.
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has 34.40 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, hunting
Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie. It was too short for release.
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has 34.40 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, work
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea? A: "Look I found deep nuts."
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has 34.40 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty
What's the definition of a poofter? A bloke who enlarges the circle of his friends!
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has 34.31 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: gay
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!" "This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."
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has 34.25 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, wine
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
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has 34.25 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, heaven
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