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Men are like guns. Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
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An airliner is having engine trouble. The pilot instructs the cabin crew to prepare for an emergency landing. A few minutes later the pilot asks the flight attendants if everyone is buckled in and ready. ‘All set back here, Captain,’ comes the reply. ‘Except one lawyer. He’s still going around passing out business cards.’
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What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1) No mind. 2) No business.
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A blonde comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. ‘Yoo-hoo!’ she shouts. ‘How can I get to the other side?’ The other blonde looks around then shouts back, ‘You are on the other side!’
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Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called? A: A copycat!
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Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? A. Because at 69 they blow a rod...
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Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.
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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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The cop said, ‘Pull over!’ I said, ‘No, cardigan, but thanks for noticing!’
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Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M and M's factory? A: She threw away all of the "W's".
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