Question: What’s six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?
Answer: Money.
Q: Why was the black baby crying?
A: He had diarea and thought he was melting.
Q. Why do women stop bleeding when entering the menopause ?
A. Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins!
An airliner is having engine trouble.
The pilot instructs the cabin crew to prepare for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later the pilot asks the flight attendants if everyone is buckled in and ready.
‘All set back here, Captain,’ comes the reply.
‘Except one lawyer.
He’s still going around passing out business cards.’
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1) No mind.
2) No business.
A blonde comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
‘Yoo-hoo!’ she shouts.
‘How can I get to the other side?’
The other blonde looks around then shouts back, ‘You are on the other side!’
Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called?
A: A copycat!
Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A. Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Men are like buses.
They have spare tires and smell funny.
The Judge said to the defendant. "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again."
"Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen."