What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down?
Kick her where the sun don't shine.
A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer.
The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve snails' and throws him out.
A couple of weeks later the snail goes into the bar again and says... 'What did you do that for!'
Fed up with your computer winning at chess?
Try it at kick-boxing instead!
What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.
When Chuck goes into outer space his head doesn't pop, space pops around his head!
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Facebook wants to add Chuck Norris as a Friend.
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Yo mama is fat, she got a triple-double chin.
Yo mama so stupid she stab her self with a shooting gun.
Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a Klondike bar.
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