‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’
Douglas Adams
A husband gives his wife a complete mink outfit for her birthday – a 12-bore shotgun and some traps.
What’s blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette…?
A blonde doing cartwheels.
Yesterday I saw a man trying to chat up a cheetah.
‘Hello,’ I thought.
‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’
He drank so much beer that when he ate a peanut you could hear the splash.
A 7-year-old boy and a 40-year old man are walking together in a dark forest.
The young boy says, "I'm afraid..." The 40-year-old man replies," You're afraid?!
I have to walk out of here alone!"
Why are black people good at basketball?
Because they run, shoot and steal.
Q: Why did hitter kill himself?
A: Because he could not pay the gas bill.
Vote:
Two old soldiers, Fred and Harry, are sitting in their club.
Harry turns to Fred and says, ‘When was the last time you made love to a woman?’
Fred thinks for a moment then says, ‘1947.’
‘Good heavens,’ says Harry.
‘That’s a very long time ago.’
‘Not reall
Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.