How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
A: Lettuce get together!
Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
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How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia?
2 months...
How does he get there?
He walks.
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Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?
A: Women!
Chuck Norris found Nemo with his eyes closed.
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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller?
A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
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Chuck Norris can blow the answers away from the wind.
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Q: Did you hear about the Hungarian who thought his wife was trying to kill him?
A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Hungarian Remover".