Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass
Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas? A: Cancer.
Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat? And they look at you and say they don't know. And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'.
Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
Chuck Norris is a hunter. But Chuck Norris does not hunt. That implies the possibility of failure.
Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie. It was too short for release.
What's the definition of a poofter? A bloke who enlarges the circle of his friends!