Customer to Waiter: "This is the third time I'm asking you, do you serve pigs in here?!"
Waiter: "Sir Please sit down, this is the 100th time I telling you, we serve everyone here."
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Joke has 80.13 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, vulgar
Tom and Timothy were in the same regiment in the army.
They were inseparable friends and spent their evenings drinking together.
After retirement, they went to different states and settled.
However, they kept correspondence through letters and e-mails.
To keep the memory of their boozing bouts alive, Tom always filled two glasses with rum and water and sipped from each alternately!
When somebody asked him why he did so, he explained: "This glass is Timothy's; this one is mine. So I take a sip from each - one on behalf of Timothy, the other for myself."
Suddenly one evening Tom was seen with only one glass on his table.
He was asked what had happened.
He replied, "You see, I have given up drinking but Timothy has written that he has not. So I have put away my glass and drink only on behalf of my friend."
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Joke has 80.13 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, communication, friendship, military, old people
I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus.
That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment.
"I’m sorry," said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks."
"But I could be dead by then!"
"No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment."
Question: What happened to the only man that finally figured women out?
Answer: He died laughing.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
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How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus?
Don't worry, they'll let you know.
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CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.
‘What were you in civilian life, soldier?’ ‘Happy, sir.’
Why did the Jews roam the desert for 400 years?
Someone lost a quarter.