Best jokes ever

A young job applicant was being interviewed for an entry-level position. His prospective boss asked, "Are you a smoker?" "Not even a little," said the young man. "How about alcoholic beverages?" "Never touch 'em," he replied. The boss smiled and asked, "So you spend a lot of time with girls?" The applicant said, "No, not really." "So you don't have any vices?" "Well, I do have one," he admitted. "And what would that be?" the boss asked. "I tell lies."
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has 79.99 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, communication, drug, women, work
A nun woke up one morning feeling great, she got out of bed and decided to go to the kitchen for some breakfast. On her way over there she runs into sister Jane and she says, "Hi sister Jane," by which sister Jane says, "I see you got off on the wrong side of the bed sister. She did not understand what sister Jane meant by that so she ignored it and went on. She was passing by the garden when she ran into sister Roberta and she says, "Good morning sister Roberta I am having a great day. Sister Roberta says, "I see you got off on the wrong side of the bed." The nun was wondering why everybody she met kept saying that when she felt great so she decides to go and see mother superior. She asks mother superior, "Everybody keeps telling me that I got off on the wrong side of the bed when I feel great and mother superior says,"That is because you have brother Johns shoes on."
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has 79.99 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: food, life
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I'll show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide. "Here," she said, "You must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick, right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?" "Checking for bees!" said Tarzan.
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has 79.99 % from 1423 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, sex
My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I'm still employed. I just can't remember where.
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has 79.97 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: geography, memory, work
Doctor: "You look exhausted." Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."
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has 79.97 % from 235 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, nurse, phone
Q: Where do suicide bombers go after they die? A: Everywhere!
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has 79.97 % from 296 votes. More jokes about: death, morbid, terrorist
Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway? A: Because its underground.
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has 79.96 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: hipster, travel
Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
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has 79.96 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: life, men, women
A business owner decides to take a tour around his business and see how things are going. He goes down to the shipping docks and sees a young man leaning against the wall doing nothing. The owner walks up to the young man and says: "Son, how much do you make a day?" The guy replies: "150 dollars!" The owner pulls out his wallet, gives him $150, and tells him to get out and never come back. A few minutes later, the shipping clerk asks the owner: "Have you seen that UPS driver? I asked him to wait here for me!"
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has 79.96 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: business, money, time, work
Contrary to what people say, you can indeed drink to relax. Of course sometimes, you get so calm, you cant move.
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has 79.96 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
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