yo momas so stupid when theives broke into her house and stole the TV she chased after them shouting ''wait you forgot the remote''.
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Three men go on a skiing trip, but when they get to the HOTEL they find out that the hotel have mucked up their rooms and they have to share one big bed.
When they wake up the guy on the left says I had a well strange dream last night that I was getting a hand job, and then the guy on the right goes thats strange O had the same dream I was getting a hand job.
Then the guy in the middle goes well thats strange because I had a dream I was skiing!
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The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
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An old man goes to his doctor.
The doctor says "I got some bad news for you. you have Cancer and you have Alzheimer's."
And the old man says "At least I don't have Cancer."
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Yo mama so ugly when she went to the bathroom, she scared the shit out of the toilet.
Your mamma is so fat when she steps on the scales it says one at a time please.
Q: Did you hear about the new movie "Constipation?"
A: It hasn't come out yet.
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Q: What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?
A: "Some asshole has my pen!"
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Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes.
That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes.