Best jokes ever

A kid was crying standing outside his house. A passer by asked: "Why are you crying?" Kid: "My parents are fighting inside the house." Passer by: "Who is your father?" Kid: "That is what the fight is about."
Vote:
has 79.74 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: family, kids
A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several machetes in the car. "What are those for?" she asked suspiciously. "I'm a juggler," the man replied. "I use those in my act.’ "Well, show me," the officer demanded. So he got out the machetes and started juggling them, first three, then more, finally seven at one time, overhand, underhand, behind the back, putting on a dazzling show and amazing the officer. Another car passed by. The driver did a double take, and said, "My God. I've got to give up drinking! Look at the test they're giving now."
Vote:
has 79.73 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, god
Chuck Norris can fall up.
Vote:
has 79.73 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Vote:
has 79.73 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, tax, work
On the Internet you can be anything you want. It's so strange that many people choose to be stupid.
Vote:
has 79.72 % from 232 votes. More jokes about: internet, life, stupid
The following conversation took place between a husband and wife: Wife: How many women have u slept with? Husband: Only you darling, I was awake with the other women.
Vote:
has 79.72 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: husband, wife
My nephew told me when he grows up, he wants to be a pizza delivery guy, or a pool skimmer. I need to tell my bro to do a better job at hiding his porn.
Vote:
has 79.72 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: family, sex, work
My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I'm still employed. I just can't remember where.
Vote:
has 79.71 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: geography, memory, work
A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he doesn't want to appear insensitive, he also doesn't want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says: "Wow! That was the best kiss I've ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl..."
Vote:
has 79.71 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty
Customer to Waiter: "This is the third time I'm asking you, do you serve pigs in here?!" Waiter: "Sir Please sit down, this is the 100th time I telling you, we serve everyone here."
Vote:
has 79.71 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, vulgar
<<<131132133134
More jokes →
Page 131 of 1427.