Best jokes ever

A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porn film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porn theatre to see the adult movie. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row of the adult cinema, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M, bondage and even a dog. After a while watching the adult movie, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music." "Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."
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has 79.89 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: couple, disgusting, dog, men, music
It's not the dress that makes you look fat. It's the fat.
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has 79.88 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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has 79.88 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
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has 79.88 % from 618 votes. More jokes about: Facebook
Three guys begin work at a toothbrush company as salesmen. Each day, two of the guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third guy consistently sells two hundred. The other two guys are jealous, but they can't figure out his secret. Then, one day, they run into him at the mall, where he's set up a tobacco dip sample table. "This is your secret?" says the first guy. "Try some dip," says the third. They both take a little bit o' dip. "Ech!" says the second guy. "This tastes like s**t!" "It is s**t. Would you like to buy a toothbrush?"
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has 79.87 % from 256 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, work
Use to be we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, and Steven Jobs. Now we have no hope, no cash, and no jobs. Please do not die Kevin Bacon.
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has 79.87 % from 172 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Yo Momma is so fat… That she broke a branch in her family tree!
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has 79.86 % from 1028 votes. More jokes about: family, fat, insulting, Yo mama
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.” “What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter. “My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
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has 79.85 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, hunting, wife
Your mama is so ugly, that she made a blind kid cry.
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has 79.85 % from 2460 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, Yo mama
On day a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were on their way to heaven. God told them the stairs to heaven were 1,000 steps and on every step he was going to tell them a joke. If they laughed they would not be able to get to heaven. So the redhead made it to the 45th step and laughed. The brunette made it to the 200th step and laughed. But the blonde made it to the 999th step and laughed even before god told his joke. God asked "Why did you laugh I haven't even told the joke yet" The blonde said "I know I just now got the first one!!!"
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has 79.85 % from 1101 votes. More jokes about: blonde, ginger, heaven, travel
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