Best jokes ever

Harry staggers exhausted into his house. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ asks his wife. ‘I thought I’d save my 75p bus fare by running behind the bus,’ gasps Harry. ‘You idiot,’ says his wife. ‘If you’d run home behind a taxi you could’ve saved a tenner.’
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A man walks by a table in a casino and passes three men and a dog playing cards. ‘That’s a very smart dog,’ says the man. ‘He’s not so clever,’ says one of the players. ‘Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail.’
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man is staggering home drunk late at night when he’s stopped by a policeman. ‘What are you doing out here at this time of night?’ asks the officer. ‘I’m going to a lecture,’ replies the man. ‘And who’s going to give a lecture at this hour?’ asks the policeman. ‘My wife,’ replies the man.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A man orders a pint of beer, notices it tastes sour and complains to the barman. ‘What are you moaning about?’ says the barman. ‘You’ve only got a pint of that rubbish, I’ve got three barrels full.’
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Dick goes into a rough bar and orders a drink. A man sidles up to him and says, ‘I can see you’re a stranger in here.’ ‘Why, yes,’ says Dick. ‘How could you tell?’ The man replies, ‘You’ve taken your hand off your glass.’
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
My grandfather came from a very poor family. The only time he tasted meat was when he bit his tongue.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
We were so poor we couldn’t get rid of the roaches in our house because they paid half the rent.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
There will always be death and taxes. However, death doesn’t get worse every year.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
My wife and I have a joint account. I deposit money and she withdraws it.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
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