Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A. Because at 69 they blow a rod...
An old man asks a blond:
If a guy would try to rape you, will you scream for help?
If he can’t manage me by himself off course!
I wouldn’t say she’s been married a lot but the church is trying to get her to pay for a new aisle carpet.
A blonde was on her way to Disneyland, but she went home when she saw a sign saying ‘Disneyland Left’.
This website may not be idiot proof, but at least it’s dimwit resistant.
My wife and I lead a quiet life.
The last time we went out together was when the gas boiler exploded.
It's legal to earn money playing hockey
Many people play hockey even after they're married
The puck's always hard
The protective equipment is reusable
It lasts at least an hour
A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon
You always know how big the stick is
You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding
You can change players on the fly
You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up
Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds
Your parents cheer when you score
Periods last only 20 minutes
You're sure to get it at least twice a week
You can tell your friends about it afterwards.
"Hello"
"Hello"
"Is that you, James?"
"Yes, this is James."
"Are you sure this is James."
"Yes I'm sure, this is James!"
"This is Robert... can you lend me twenty dollars?"
"I'll tell James when he comes in."
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
"Run faster....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth."
A lawyer named Impos Syble was shopping for a tombstone.
After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it.
“Here lies an honest man and a lawyer,” responded the lawyer.
“Sorry, but I can’t do that,” replied the stonecutter.
“In this state, it’s against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put `here lies an honest lawyer’.”
“But that won’t let people know who it is!” protested the lawyer.
“Sure it will,” retorted the stonecutter. “People will read it and exclaim, “That’s impossible!”