Why does a man prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company.
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting.
The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs.
"No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"
My husband and I married for better or worse.
He couldn’t do better and I couldn’t do worse.
When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: ''I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband''.
What is so special about the retirement age?
"It is the time when one acquires sufficient experience to lose one's job."
Vote:
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"
Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom?
They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
Vote:
Guns need a licence to bear Chuck Norris.
Vote:
It's legal to earn money playing hockey
Many people play hockey even after they're married
The puck's always hard
The protective equipment is reusable
It lasts at least an hour
A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon
You always know how big the stick is
You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding
You can change players on the fly
You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up
Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds
Your parents cheer when you score
Periods last only 20 minutes
You're sure to get it at least twice a week
You can tell your friends about it afterwards.