I’ve invented a human computer.
When he does a mistake he blames another computer.
Why does a man prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company.
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting.
The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs.
"No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"
My husband and I married for better or worse.
He couldn’t do better and I couldn’t do worse.
When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: ''I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband''.
What is so special about the retirement age?
"It is the time when one acquires sufficient experience to lose one's job."
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The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"
Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom?
They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
Vote:
Guns need a licence to bear Chuck Norris.
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