Best jokes ever

An Irishman drinks at the pub until they close. He stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time and falls again. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Outside, he tries to stand up and falls flat again. He gives up and crawls the four blocks to his house, crawls up the stairs and pulls himself into bed. The next morning, his wife stands over him shouting, "So, you've been out boozing again!" "What makes you say that?" he asks, putting on an innocent face. "The pub called -- you left your wheelchair there again."
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall? A: It depends how hard you throw them.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: Did you hear about the dead lawyer who was too big to fit in a coffin? A: They gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Law of Cat Disinterest A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the lawyer who was hurt in an accident? The ambulance he was chasing stopped too suddenly.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Golf was once a rich man’s sport, but now it has millions of poor players.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: sport
Harry staggers exhausted into his house. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ asks his wife. ‘I thought I’d save my 75p bus fare by running behind the bus,’ gasps Harry. ‘You idiot,’ says his wife. ‘If you’d run home behind a taxi you could’ve saved a tenner.’
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A man walks by a table in a casino and passes three men and a dog playing cards. ‘That’s a very smart dog,’ says the man. ‘He’s not so clever,’ says one of the players. ‘Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail.’
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
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