Q: What's the hardest thing about a sex change from a man to a woman? A: Inserting the anchovies
My wife is so kinky, when she was born, the doctor slapped her bottom to make her cry, and she said "Don't forget to pull my hair" I accidentally swallowed some WhiteOut last night. Woke up with a massive correction.
A blonde was on her way to Disneyland, but she went home when she saw a sign saying ‘Disneyland Left’.
Why are football stadiums always cool? "Because they're full of fans."
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
A bra and a set of jumper leads walked into a bar and asked for two tui's the bar man said"sorry i cant serve you." the bra and jumper leads answered back"why not" the bar man said"your off your tits and you lock like your about to start something".
When does a female deer need money? When she doesnt have a buck.
How do most men compare to Mel Gibson? They have everything he has, except talent, money, and looks.
Sign over a pub bar: ‘Due to the recent water shortage, beer will now be served at full strength.’
Did you hear about the blonde who thought Doris Day was a national holiday?