A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Question: Why did the Army send do many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf?
Answer: They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
Four year-old Harry, who could tell time, was playing with a wall clock when her grandpa visited.
Later, when he was putting on his coat to leave, the grandpa asked him what time it was.
He looked at the clock blankly, and then answered in a triumphant way, "It's time for you to go, grandpa!"
"Yo momma so fat she was baptized in the ocean!"
Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
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When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
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When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
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A blonde goes horseback riding for the first time in her life, she's never had any prior lessons or training.
As soon as her bottom hits the saddle, the horse gallops away.
Immediately the girl realizes she's not in the saddle correctly and she does everything she can to stay on the horse, she pulls on the horse's mane, she grabs the saddle ... but she realizes it's no use.
Finally she decides the best thing to do is to jump clear of the horse but as she does this, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and she is dragged by the horse.
Her head is hitting the ground ... thump ... thump ... thump ... over and over again.
Just as she is about to lose consciousness ..... the store manager runs out and unplugs the horse!
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Teacher: You boy, what’s your name?
Boy: Mickey Jones.
Teacher: We’ll call you Jones here.
We don’t use first names.
Boy: My dad won’t like that – he takes offence if people take the Mickey out of my name.
Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you!
Girl: yes, but would you stay there….
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