Best jokes ever

Elmore walked into his favorite truck stop cafe and said to the owner, "Hey, Roy, you wanna take a chance on a raffle?" "Whada ya win?" "A million dollars!" said the redneck. "You get a dollar a year for a million years." "How much are they each?" "Ten cents. Two for a quarter. Or three for half a dollar!"
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has 29.62 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: money, redneck, time
How do you blindfold a Chinese person? Put floss over their eyes.
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has 29.57 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: - Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: - Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. - But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: - I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. - But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. - Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
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has 29.51 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, time
Yo Mamma's mouth is like a pool table balls go in balls go out she gets paid and there is a new player every day.
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has 29.51 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Q: What do you call a blonde sitting in the back of your 6th grade class? A: your 25 year old mom.
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has 29.51 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, school
Whats the difference between married men and parking spaces? Nothing all the good ones are taken.
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has 29.51 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: marriage
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the Bishop with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the Bishop looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the Bishop and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The Bishop put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
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has 29.51 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: marriage, money, wedding
Why are men with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage? They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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has 29.51 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: marriage
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp? (A bear-faced lyre!)
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has 29.51 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: kids
When you think that you are looking at Chuck Norris' picture, think again... he's looking at you.
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has 29.51 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde
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