Q: How do you keep black youth off the streets?
A: Put a KFC on the sidewalk 
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A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom.
He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed.
When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted:
"Father, what are you doing?"
The priest replied "Calm down my child.
Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
What do you call ten million black people jumping out of a plane?
Night time.
The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
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Q: How can you tell the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo?
A: At a straight rodeo they yell "Ride them suckers!"
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Yo mama so fat when she uses a space shuttle as a vibrator.
There were these two guys in a bar, which was on the 20th floor of a building.
The first man said " I bet you $100 I can jump out that window and come straight back in!"
The second man says "Ok, sure." and the barman holds the bet.
The first man jumps out the window and disappears for a second before jumping straight back in.
Disappointed about losing the $100, the second man says:
" I'll bet you another $100 you can't do it again." So the barman holds the bet.
Sure enough, the first man jumps out the window, disappears for a second, then jumps straight back in. Thinking he must have caught a freak gust of wind, the second man says "Ok, I bet you $300 I can jump out the window and come straight back in."
The first man says" Ok, sure."
The second man jumps out the window and falls to the footpath below.
He is dead.
Back up in the bar, the barman says to the first man " Gee, you can be a bastard when you're pissed, Superman."
Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
He wanted to be very clear!
Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
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The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.
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