Best jokes ever

Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets jalapeno business!
Vote: has 26.83 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, kids
‘Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.’ Fred Allen
Vote: has 26.79 % from 77 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."
Vote: has 26.77 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, kids
Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows? He wanted to be very clear!
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More jokes about: school
Teacher: You boy, what’s your name? Boy: Mickey Jones. Teacher: We’ll call you Jones here. We don’t use first names. Boy: My dad won’t like that – he takes offence if people take the Mickey out of my name.
Vote: has 26.75 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school
There once was two people Lisa and Brian They got married and had a child. The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso. So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body. So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever. When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out. When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out. After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body. As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died. The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."
Vote: has 26.75 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, kids, life, marriage
Jones aside. ‘You’re in perfect health,’ he says. ‘Your wife didn’t give me an erection, either.’
Vote: has 26.70 % from 74 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
Knock knock. Who's there? Allahu Akbar. Allahu AK- BOOM!!!
Vote: has 26.57 % from 94 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, knock-knock, terrorist
Two old ladies are discussing their dead husbands. ‘Tell me,’ says one. ‘Did you have mutual orgasms?’ ‘No,’ says the other. ‘I think we were with the Prudential.’
Vote: has 26.50 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
A homo went to Denmark to have a sex change operation performed. When 'SHE' returned, a friend asked, "How did it go?" "Oh awful, just awful!" she replied. "What was so awful?" asked the friend, "Did it hurt a lot when they removed the extra parts?" "Oh no," she replied, "That wasn't bad at all." "Well, did it hurt when they put in the silicone implants?" the friend asked. "Oh no, that wasn't bad either!" she replied. "Well then," asked the friend, "What was so awful?" "It was when they cut a hole in my head and took out half my brain!"
Vote: has 26.46 % from 241 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: gay, geography, sex, travel


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