Teacher: You boy, what’s your name?
Boy: Mickey Jones.
Teacher: We’ll call you Jones here.
We don’t use first names.
Boy: My dad won’t like that – he takes offence if people take the Mickey out of my name.
Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you!
Girl: yes, but would you stay there….
Vote:
Q: How do you fit 60,000 Jews in a minivan?
A: With a dustpan.
Vote:
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight!
Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.
Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said
"Why did you put up such a fight?"
To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open?
She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather.
Why did the millionaire count his money with his toes?
So it wouldn't slip through his fingers!
Why is money green?
Because people usually pick it before it's ripe!
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
So they can find their way back to the house.
Bigamy is having one husband too many.
Some say monogamy is the same.
What is the longest organ in a sheep's body?
A New Zealander's cock!