Did you hear about the man who got a vasectomy at Sears?
Now every time he gets excited, the garage door goes up.
Why couldn't the skunk use her phone?
It was out of odor!
Q: What is the difference between a puppy and a man?
A: Eventually the puppy will grow up and stop whining.
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
Last year's hide and seek champion.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a nun?
A computer that won’t go down.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
A: Gulp.
Vote:
Patient: "How much do you charge for extracting a tooth?"
Doctor: "Fifty rupees."
Patient: "Fifty ruppes, for only a few second’s work?"
Doctor: "Well, I will do it very slowly."
Patient: "How much is for the operation?"
Doctor: "Rupees on thousand."
Patient: "But it was a serious one."
Doctor: "Nonsense. You can’t buy a serious operation for Rupees one Thousand now-a days."
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A: "I feel like a kid again."
Vote:
Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window?
A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.
Q: Why did Mexico send only a couple thousand Mexicans to fight in the Alamo?
A: Because they only had 4 trucks.