Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls.
They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!"
The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".
How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Patient: "How much do you charge for extracting a tooth?"
Doctor: "Fifty rupees."
Patient: "Fifty ruppes, for only a few second’s work?"
Doctor: "Well, I will do it very slowly."
Patient: "How much is for the operation?"
Doctor: "Rupees on thousand."
Patient: "But it was a serious one."
Doctor: "Nonsense. You can’t buy a serious operation for Rupees one Thousand now-a days."
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A: "I feel like a kid again."
Vote:
Why did the woman cross the road?
That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
Q: Why did Mexico send only a couple thousand Mexicans to fight in the Alamo?
A: Because they only had 4 trucks.
A black african man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bartender says "That's pretty nice where did you get it?"
"Africa" the parrot responds.
Vote:
One spelling mistake can destroy your life!
A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e' at the end of a word:
"I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her..!"
"Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sunbath!
Q: What creature has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog, after all, they croak every night.