Two packets walk into a bar.
One of the packets asks the bartender for a drink, and gets no response
The other packet tries and the bartender shrugs him off.
One packet leans to the other and says, "The quality of service here is terrible!"
Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee.
Question: How can you tell that an attorney is about to lie?
Answer: His lips begin to move.
A true story, according to the LA Times.....
Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, "Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?"
Wilkins replied, "I don't know and I don't care!"
When does a female deer need money?
When she doesnt have a buck.
What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
Did you hear about the man who got a vasectomy at Sears?
Now every time he gets excited, the garage door goes up.
Why couldn't the skunk use her phone?
It was out of odor!
Q: What is the difference between a puppy and a man?
A: Eventually the puppy will grow up and stop whining.
What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
Last year's hide and seek champion.