A Horse walks into a bar: "Hey buddy," says the bartender, "why the long face?"
Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.
Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.
We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies. We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.
Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? An invalid.
Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows? He wanted to be very clear!
All my friends, we was ready for the second riot. No, not like the first one, where we were just grabbing stuff at random it wouldn't be like that. I've got a thousand boxes of Pampers; I don't know what I'm going to do with it. No, no, this time we had a list. We were going to get the stuff we need. Everybody on my block has bought a U-Haul..
Yo mama is so fat that when she died jesus couldn't lift her soul to heaven.