Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says ''Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here'.
How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil? It depends on how hard you squeeze them.
Q: What's worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.
How do you unload a truck of zombie babies? With a pitchfork.
Q: What do black people smoke? A: Niggerettes.
Lenin dies and goes to Saint Peter to tell him whether to go to hell or heaven. There was a big problem among the saints because the half of them wanted him to hell and the other half in Paradise. Then they asked God, who of course tells them to go to Hell. After a week of being in hell, devil visited St. Peter and complained: "This Lenin will destroy me. One week in Hell only and he has already started their courses and demonstrations." St. Peter much forced agrees to accept Lenin in Paradise. From that day and then there was a disturbing silence. After two months St. Peter goes to heaven and he sees what? Everyone sitting around and Lenin standing in the middle and talking. Among the distinguished listeners the Saint recognises Jesus Christ. He calls him and says: "God will punish you" And he answers: "Who? God? But God does not exist."
If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
I got really love sick the other day working away from home. Went to the doctors and they said it was chlamydia.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
What's the good part of there being no blacks on the Jetsons? It means the future will be great!