A man goes into a pub with a cat sitting on his head. The barman pulls him a pint and says,‘Look I don’t know if you know it but there’s a cat sitting on your head.’ ‘What of it?’ asks the man.‘I always wear a cat on my head on a Monday.’ ‘But today’s Tuesday,’ replies the barman. ‘Oh God.Is it?’ says the man. ‘I must look a right prat.’
Is your goalmouth open? High five!
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig? (A teddy boar!)
How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'
Two guys meet: "Where were you lost my friend? says one of them." "Well, I took my kids to the zoo..." "And what kind of animals did you see there?" "The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...” "Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”! "Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"
What's brown and gurgles? A baby in a casserole.
A traffic cop on patrol one night, watching a 35mph zone on the edge of town, suddenly saw a car come blazing by his hideout. Quickly grabbing at his radar gun, he clocked the fast moving vehicle at 87mph!
With searching comes loss And the presence of absence: ‘My Novel’ not found.
What is the hardest part of making shoe fly pie? Putting the shoes on the flies!
Young, blond, sexy, extreme sports amateur, nice body, long legs, sells truck...