The wife of a boxer wakes up because of the sounds that come from the dining room.
She wakes her husband up:
Rocky, I think someone wants a particular boxing lesson...
What did one computer say to the other?
010101101010101010101
Who is little, black and jumps?
A flee!
But who’s big, black and jumps?
Dr. Alban!
What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!!
We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?", asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
"No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."
My girlfriend used to fake foreplay.
A man falls asleep on a beach and gets severe sunburn.
He’s rushed to hospital by his wife
The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
What color is a burp?
It's burple!
On the ninth day, God said, "Let there be soccer."
And it was good.
Later on that day, God said, "Let there be one team to rule the others and set the standard for excellence."
God said, "Let it be called the Manchester United."
Later that day, God said, "Even Man U needs idiots." So HE made their fans.
What about Where does a General keep his Armys?
In his sleevies!