Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.
Vote:
A Horse walks into a bar:
"Hey buddy," says the bartender, "why the long face?"
I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week.
I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
Vote:
A man in a balaclava with a gun asked, "Are you a Protestant or a Catholic?"
"Neither, I'm a Jew."
"But are you a Protestant Jew or a Catholic Jew?"
My wife is so kinky, when she was born, the doctor slapped her bottom to make her cry, and she said "Don't forget to pull my hair" I accidentally swallowed some WhiteOut last night.
Woke up with a massive correction.
Donald Trump is a vain, arrogant, hateful pig.
That's why Americans voted him in - he's just like them.
Vote:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu AK-
BOOM!!!
Vote:
A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment.
They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket.
"What is that?" she asks.
"Those are my golf balls."
"Is that like tennis elbow?"
Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.