A Detroit-area woman who was removed from a jury for commenting about the ongoing case on Facebook has a longer writing task ahead: a five-page essay about the constitutional right to a fair trial.
She responded, "Can I just get the answer from Wikipedia and send it to the inbox on your Facebook page instead?"
My wife is so kinky, when she was born, the doctor slapped her bottom to make her cry, and she said "Don't forget to pull my hair" I accidentally swallowed some WhiteOut last night.
Woke up with a massive correction.
Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…
There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.
Why has Guinness got a white head on it?
So when you’re drunk you know which end to start on.
What would you call a drunk who works at an upholstery shop?
A recovering alcoholic.
A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment.
They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket.
"What is that?" she asks.
"Those are my golf balls."
"Is that like tennis elbow?"
Q: How can you tell when a man is dead?
A: He stays stiff for more than two minutes.