Yo mama so fat she died.
"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor."
"But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
Vote:
There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris...
Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
Vote:
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.
Vote:
A Horse walks into a bar:
"Hey buddy," says the bartender, "why the long face?"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu AK-
BOOM!!!
Vote:
I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
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My wife is so kinky, when she was born, the doctor slapped her bottom to make her cry, and she said "Don't forget to pull my hair" I accidentally swallowed some WhiteOut last night.
Woke up with a massive correction.
Donald Trump is a vain, arrogant, hateful pig.
That's why Americans voted him in - he's just like them.
Vote:
Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.