The man says, "Will you buy booze?" The bum says, "No." The man says, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum says, "No." So the man says, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were asked where they would like to go. The brunette said she would like to go to Mars. The redhead said she would like to go to Venus. The blonde said she would like to go to the Sun. "But you would burn up", said the brunette. "Well, I would go at night. Duh", said the blonde.
Q: WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer--do you have a locker room in the police station--a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties? A: Yes sir, we do.
Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist? A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
What is gross stupidity? 144 men in one room.
How do you know if a man is lying? His lips are moving!
How do most men compare to Mel Gibson? They have everything he has, except talent, money, and looks.
Q: What is the difference between a puppy and a man? A: Eventually the puppy will grow up and stop whining.
Those poor cops, they put themselves in the line of fire to protect and serve us – yet we make jokes about them. Maybe if so many fat police officers weren’t sitting in a Dunkin Doughnuts writing speeding tickets they’d be left alone.
What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb? A thyme machine.