Best jokes ever

Question: What do you call a woman who has lost 95 percent of her intelligence? Answer: Divorced.
Vote:
has 26.76 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: divorce, women
I came downstairs this morning and my wife asked me what I wanted for breakfast. So I said, ‘Eggs, bacon, fried bread and mushrooms.’ At least that’s what I meant to say. What I actually said was, ‘You’ve ruined my life, you fat ugly witch.’
Vote:
has 26.76 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: marriage
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Vote:
has 26.76 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: phone, women
What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."
Vote:
has 26.75 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids
Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
Vote:
has 26.75 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
Vote:
has 26.75 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, football
A: How do children in Baghdad do? A: Bombastically.
Vote:
has 26.75 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, kids, life, war
Yo mama so fat, her ID pic had to be taken in panoramic mode.
Vote:
has 26.72 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, technology, Yo mama
One spelling mistake can destroy your life! A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e' at the end of a word: "I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her..!"
Vote:
has 26.64 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, men, wife
Q: What do you call a cremated black person? A: 100% cocoa powder.
Vote:
has 26.61 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist
<<<1357135813591360
More jokes →
Page 1357 of 1429.