Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? An invalid.
Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows? He wanted to be very clear!
All my friends, we was ready for the second riot. No, not like the first one, where we were just grabbing stuff at random it wouldn't be like that. I've got a thousand boxes of Pampers; I don't know what I'm going to do with it. No, no, this time we had a list. We were going to get the stuff we need. Everybody on my block has bought a U-Haul..
Yo mama is so fat that when she died jesus couldn't lift her soul to heaven.
Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
Q: Why did Mexico send only a couple thousand Mexicans to fight in the Alamo? A: Because they only had 4 trucks.
Your mamma so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas when Jusse said his first words you a hoe.
Yo mama so fat, her ID pic had to be taken in panoramic mode.
Knock knock. Who's there? Allahu Akbar. Allahu AK- BOOM!!!
A man, a woman, and a great survivor are trapped on an island. The survivor finds a bunch of coconuts. The man thinks to himself, "What if there are other people on the island? Then we won't be stranded!" He throws coconuts at nearby ships, and the island was populated. Everybody looks at him cross. Then they kick him off the island.