Best jokes ever

A blonde walks into a gas station and says to the manager, "I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?" The manager gives the blonde a bent coat hanger. A few minutes later, he goes out to check on her. As her approaches the blonde working the hanger in window, he notices another blonde inside the car, coaching "No, no! A little to the left."
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has 79.35 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde
When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.
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has 79.35 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: music, wife, work
A man is moaning to his mate that he never has any luck with pulling women. His mate tells him he has a chat up line that never fails, no matter how good looking the women are he always ends up in bed with them. Great says his mate, what is it! Just walk up to any woman you fancy and say, "Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion! Does this damp piece of cloth smell like chloroform to you?"
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has 79.35 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: men
Warning! User Error. Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.
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has 79.35 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, technology
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
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has 79.34 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
You know your f*cked when the Asian says, "shit", during the test.
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has 79.34 % from 2053 votes. More jokes about: racist, school
A 64-year-old lady never had any kids, so she went to her doctor and asked if he would help her with in-vitro fertilization. He said, "You're a little old, but I guess we could give it a try." A few months later she got pregnant. She invited her girlfriends over to see the baby, and they all very anxious to see the baby boy. The newly mother said, "why don't we just talk awhile." As time went on, her friends asked again and again where is the baby... She said, "We never get a chance to talk, and here is our chance to catch up!" Finally they insisted on seeing him. She said, "Well, we'll just have to wait until he cries before you all can see him." The women were puzzled. And she said, "I don't remember where I put him."
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has 79.34 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: age, baby, doctor, memory, time
Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise? The horse lost 15 pounds in a week!
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has 79.34 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal
If I could bring one dead person back to life I'd bring back Walt Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction...
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has 79.34 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, life
I had to get rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
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has 79.34 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, husband
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