Best jokes ever

A man comes home and tells his wife to tell him something that is going to laugh and cry. Wife thinks for a minute and says... "of all your friends you have the biggest dick."
Vote:
has 79.45 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship, marriage, mean, sex
Three men go on a skiing trip, but when they get to the HOTEL they find out that the hotel have mucked up their rooms and they have to share one big bed. When they wake up the guy on the left says I had a well strange dream last night that I was getting a hand job, and then the guy on the right goes thats strange O had the same dream I was getting a hand job. Then the guy in the middle goes well thats strange because I had a dream I was skiing!
Vote:
has 79.44 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: masturbation, men, sport
Yo momma so fat when she fell, no one laughed, but the ground started cracking up.
Vote:
has 79.43 % from 1206 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Why don't black people go on cruises? They already fell for that shit once before.
Vote:
has 79.43 % from 878 votes. More jokes about: racist
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go. When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament. The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?" "Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but not framed like that."
Vote:
has 79.42 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Student: A teacher!
Vote:
has 79.42 % from 1098 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
A Boyfriend texts his Girlfriend saying "Hey babe you wanna come over and have sex?" Girlfriend texts back "Duh!" So the girl goes over her Boyfriends house, and right before they get into it, he sets the boundaries. "Ok, so my little brother is home, and I have bunk beds. He's on the bottom bunk. If you want it harder, you say tomato. If you want it faster, you say lettuce, and if you want to moan you say any other ingredients that would be on a sandwich." So they're up on the top bunk having sex, and she's yelling "Tomato! Tomato! Lettuce! Lettuce! Cheese! Cheese!" Well the little brother is still on the bottom bunk and yells "Hey can you guys knock it off, your getting Mayonnaise all over me!!!"
Vote:
has 79.41 % from 867 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
Vote:
has 79.41 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: dirty, money, women
Q: How do you circumcise a redneck? A: You kick his sister in the jaw.
Vote:
has 79.41 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: family, mean, redneck
A kid was crying standing outside his house. A passer by asked: "Why are you crying?" Kid: "My parents are fighting inside the house." Passer by: "Who is your father?" Kid: "That is what the fight is about."
Vote:
has 79.39 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: family, kids
<<<146147148149
More jokes →
Page 146 of 1429.