A blonde walks into a gas station and says to the manager, "I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?"
The manager gives the blonde a bent coat hanger.
A few minutes later, he goes out to check on her.
As her approaches the blonde working the hanger in window, he notices another blonde inside the car, coaching "No, no! A little to the left."
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Two blondes are nailing in roof tiles.
One of them is pulling nails from his jar and if they face him, he throws them away.
The other blonde asks what he's doing.
"Duh. I'm throwing away the defective ones."
"No, stupid! Those are for the other side of the roof."
Chuck Norris stuffs lockers into bullies!
A blonde and her boyfriend are going through they're daily routine in the bathroom when there's a knock at the door.
The boyfriend who is in the shower tells the blonde to go answer the door.
The blonde puts on a towel and goes to the door.
A man is standing there, and says "Hey hun, do me a favor."
"What?" askes the blonde.
"Drop the towel and I'll give you $500!." replied the man.
The blonde drops her towel and jiggles her tits for the man at the door.
"Thanks, a ton hun, i'll catch you later" says the man and he hands her the $500.
The blonde walks back smilling to her boyfriend who had just got out of the shower.
As he steps out, he says "Hey hun?
I just thought I'd let you know John will be stopping by to pay me back that $500 he owes me!"
Q. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A1. "What's a light bulb?"
A2. One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3. Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
Vote:
A blonde went to her mail box several times before it was even time for the mailman to make his rounds.
A neighbor noticed her repeated trips to the curb and asked if she was waiting for a special delivery.
Her reply: "My computer keeps telling me I have mail."
A blonde was driving down the motorway when her car phone rang.
It was her husband, urgently warning her, “Honey, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on the M25. Please be careful!”
“It’s not just one car!” said the blonde.
“There’s f*ck*ng hundreds of them!”
A blonde biology student conducts an experiment on grasshoppers.
She pulls off one of its legs at a time and yells, "Hop."
The grasshopper hops each time until all of its legs are gone.
The blonde concludes: when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it becomes deaf.
One day 2 blondes walked into a tanning salon.
One blonde said, " A tan for 2 please!"
The cashier said, " Ok," filled out a form for them and asked, "are you two sisters?"
They chuckled and replied, " No, we aren't even Catholic."
She was so blonde that she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
Three women were sitting in a bar, (a brunette, red head, and a blonde) they were all pregnant.
The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have."
The other to asked how.
She replied, "well I was on top when I conceived so I will have a boy".
The red head said, "If that is true then I will have a girl because I was on the bottom when I conceived.
The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".