Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays".
The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
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There is a plaque laid next to the remnants of the Titanic which reads, "Only Chuck Norris is unsinkable"
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Chuck Norris caught all the 493 Pokemon...
With the Yellow version.
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Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.
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Christano Roanaldo dives because he thinks of Chuck Norris.
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Davie Jones is afraid of Chuck Norris' Locker.
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