Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
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There are no bombs, Chuck Norris just jumps out of a helicopter and punches the ground.
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The city of Dallas wanted to name a major street Chuck Norris Boulevard but decided against it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives!
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Chuck Norris once broke the land bike speed record with a bike with a lost chain and a missing back wheel.
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30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard...
They were never seen again.
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A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over...Luckily, the cop left only with a warning.
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Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
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Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
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Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
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When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens.
And dies.
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