Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
Chuck Norris became a firefighter, after hearing of his decision fire ceased to be an element.
Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Barbwire wants a tatoo of Chuck Norris.
Time travel is possible. But you must first get past Chuck Norris...