Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
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Chuck Norris can see at least 3 extra colors.
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Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
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When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk.
He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
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Chuck Norris has 2 kids.
We know them as Pain and Suffering.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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There is no such thing as global warming.
Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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