Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.
They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
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Chuck Norris once saw a video that takes 24 hours to watch...
He saw it 3 times a day.
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When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris understood the ending of Lost.
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Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
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Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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Superman is weakened when exposed to Kryptonite.
Chuck Norris eats Kryptonite for breakfast without even a belch.
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Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures.
Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
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There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
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