Best jokes ever

Yo momma is so fat when she walked by the TV i missed 3 episodes!
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has 78.84 % from 501 votes. More jokes about: fat, technology, Yo mama
A woman walks into a chemist’s and asks if they sell extra-large condoms. ‘Yes, we do,’ says the sales assistant. ‘Would you like to buy some?’ ‘No thanks,’ replies the woman. ‘But if you don’t mind, I’ll wait here for someone who does.’
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has 78.84 % from 678 votes. More jokes about: sex
Kid to a pregnant girl at bus stop: "What are you expecting?" The girl says, "A bus." The kid turns to his friend and says: "Wow! I am 100% sure this chick got screwed by a Transformer!"
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has 78.84 % from 311 votes. More jokes about: baby, car, life, sex
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
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has 78.84 % from 455 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, holiday, sport, travel
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? A: Her wedding cake.
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has 78.84 % from 1315 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage, sex, wedding
Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"? A: They want to watch their asses.
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has 78.83 % from 264 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, men, women
A man, his wife and a good-looking stranger are stranded on a desert island. The wife quickly loses interest in her husband and begins flirting with the good-looking stranger. The three start to build a watchtower. The stranger offers to take first watch. While the husband and wife gather driftwood on the sand, the stranger yells, "Hey! No sex on the beach! Get back to work!" The husband yells back, "We're not having sex!" Later, the stranger yells out to them again. Again, the husband yells back and corrects him. This happens several times during the stranger's shift. Finally, the husband's takes his shift in the watch tower. His wife and the good-looking stranger make passionate love on the beach. The husband on watch exclaims, "Wow, it really does look like f**king from up here!"
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has 78.83 % from 617 votes. More jokes about: desert island, flirt, husband, marriage, wife
Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.
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has 78.82 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: coding, IT, nerd, programmer, technology
A guy and his wife went to an expensive golf course. He said to his wife, "Be careful of the expensive houses around us. I don't know if we can afford to break a window." His wife tees off and breaks the biggest window of the most expensive looking house. He said, "Oh no! We had better go ask how much it's gonna be." So he and his wife go up to the house and see the door open. They went inside and saw the golf ball lying next to a broken glass bottle. A man walks up and says, "Thank you!" The husband said, "I'm sorry about the..." And the man interrupts, "Oh don't worry about the window. I have to thank you for getting me out of the bottle. You see, I'm a genie. So you get one wish and your wife gets one, but, in return, you have to give me one." The husband asks for $100 million. The genie says, "Done." The wife asks for 80 exotic sports cars. Genie says, "Done." "Now, my wish is to have sex with your wife because, you know, I've been trapped in that bottle for so long." They agreed since their extravagant wishes had been granted. And so the genie has sex with the man's wife, not just once but many times. When they're done, the genie asks the wife, "How old is your husband?" She answers, "33." And, the man said, "And he still believes in genies?"
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has 78.82 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: age, genie, golf, marriage, money
Your mama so ugly, when she went to a stripping club, they paid her to keep her clothes on.
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has 78.82 % from 1452 votes. More jokes about: insulting, Yo mama
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