What did the Asian parents name their retarded baby.
Sum ting wong.
A guy joined a nudist camp and when he told his mom she didn't believe him.
So he sent her a picture of his top half.
A week later his grandma wanted a picture but he accidently sent the bottom half.
Knowing she had bad eyesight, he didn't think much of it.
A week later his grandma wrote a letter saying, that she didn't like his haircut, because it made his nose look too big.
Doctor: "You look exhausted."
Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."
A kid walks into a class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks the teacher asks, "Where have you been?"
The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill."
Then another boy walks in with no shirt and no socks and the teacher says, "Where have you been?"
The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill."
Then a girl walks in and the teacher asks, "Where have you been?
Oh, let me guess on top of blueberry hill." and the girl says, "No, I am blueberry hill."
A mom calls out to her son "Harry! Wake up! You'll be late for school."
The son replies, "Mom I don't want to go to school!
The teachers and students hate me!
Give me one reason I should go!"
The mom says back, "You should go because you're the principal!"
How does Moses make his tea?
Hebrews it.
I'm serious that Israeli how he does it.
Q: Why do brides smile while they walk down the wedding aisle?
A: They realize they've given their last blow jobs.
Since it started to rain, my wife can't stop looking through the window.
If it will start pouring down, I'm afraid I will have to let her inside.
Vote:
Q: What's an actuary?
A: An accountant without the sense of humor.
Vote:
If someone ever intimidates you, remember that they're 70% water.
Are you scared of water?
Well you should be.
400,000 people drown per year.