Best jokes ever

An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants and raised her legs. The dentist said: "Excuse me; I 'm not a gynecologist." "I know," said the old lady "I want you to take my husband's teeth out."
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More jokes about: dentist, dirty, husband, old people, sex
4 reasons why I curse 1) Because I fucking want to. 2) Because I fucking can. 3) Because I don't give a fuck. 4) Because my mom isn't around.
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More jokes about: dirty
Q: What's faster than a speeding bullet? A: A Jew with a coupon.
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More jokes about: jewish, racist
What to do if you fall into a conversation with someone about the terrorist attacks who doesn't believe in retaliation: 1. Engage in conversation, and ask if military force is appropriate. 2. When he says "No," ask, "Why not?" 3. Wait until he says something to the effect of "Because that would just cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful and we should not cause more violence." 4. When he's in mid sentence, punch him in the face as hard as you can. 5. When he gets back up to punch you, point out that it would be a mistake and contrary to his values to strike you, because that would be awful and he should not cause more violence. 6. Wait until he agrees, and has pledged not to commit additional violence. 7. Punch him in the face again, harder this time. 8. Repeat steps 5 through 8 until he understands that sometimes it is necessary to punch back.
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More jokes about: military, terrorist, vulgar, war
Chuck Norris created the World Wide Web using a typewriter.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, internet
There was a 3 car accident in Mexico yesterday, 84 people were found dead.
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More jokes about: black humor
Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession? A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
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More jokes about: death, hipster, work
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
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More jokes about: accountant, life
Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
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More jokes about: hipster, life, work
A blonde, a brunette, and a man are driving in their pick-up truck. The brunette was sitting up front with the man and the blonde was in the back. While driving across a bridge the man lost control of the truck and drove over the side of the bridge. After the truck had sunk, the man and brunette fought their way out of the cab and surfaced. A couple of minutes later the blonde came out of the water, panting and breathless. "Where have you been?" asked the man. "I can't believe you left me down there! I couldn't get the tailgate open!"
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