Best jokes ever

My Grandma is in her 90's and she still doesn't need glasses. She just drinks straight out of the bottle.
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has 78.77 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, health
A failure in a device will never appear until it has passed final inspection.
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has 78.77 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: IT, technology
A man, his wife and a good-looking stranger are stranded on a desert island. The wife quickly loses interest in her husband and begins flirting with the good-looking stranger. The three start to build a watchtower. The stranger offers to take first watch. While the husband and wife gather driftwood on the sand, the stranger yells, "Hey! No sex on the beach! Get back to work!" The husband yells back, "We're not having sex!" Later, the stranger yells out to them again. Again, the husband yells back and corrects him. This happens several times during the stranger's shift. Finally, the husband's takes his shift in the watch tower. His wife and the good-looking stranger make passionate love on the beach. The husband on watch exclaims, "Wow, it really does look like f**king from up here!"
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has 78.76 % from 600 votes. More jokes about: desert island, flirt, husband, marriage, wife
A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant. The doctor says, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?” The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of Baked Beans, would you know which bean made you fart?”
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has 78.76 % from 438 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, fart, food
Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.
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has 78.76 % from 200 votes. More jokes about: school
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, “I think we’re in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?” This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, “I’ve got an idea. We’ll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours.” The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled the ribbons off while they were playing.” “OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars. Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled their collars off while they were playing.” “There’s got to be some way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, “I know! Why don’t you take the black one and I’ll take the white one!”
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has 78.75 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back. But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
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has 78.75 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I am not an American." "Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?" "I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian. "Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too." The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be an American."
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has 78.74 % from 1299 votes. More jokes about: kids, racist, teacher
Q: What do you call a teenage girl who doesn't masturbate? A: Liar.
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has 78.73 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: masturbation, teen
Yo momma is so fat when she walked by the TV i missed 3 episodes!
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has 78.72 % from 493 votes. More jokes about: fat, technology, Yo mama
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