Best jokes ever

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Vote: has 77.70 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
Home is where the wifi connects automatically.
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More jokes about: IT
Two little kids are in hospital beds next to each other. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?” The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.” The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of jelly and ice-cream. It’s a breeze.” “Cool,” says the second kid.” “What are you in here for?” “A circumcision.” “Whoa!” exclaims the second kid. “Good luck, mate. I had that done just after I was born and I couldn’t walk for a year.”
Vote: has 77.68 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, hospital, kids
Q: What do the Starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common? A: They both circle Uranus searching for Klingons.
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More jokes about: disgusting
A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself. A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her hanging by her wrists. "What are you doing." they ask her. So she replies "Hanging myself." The men are confused and asked "If you are hanging youself, you put the rope around your neck." The blond says "Duh....I tried that, I couldn't breath."
Vote: has 77.67 % from 195 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, death, stupid
16 and Pregnant. 15 and Fucking. 14 and Sucking. 13 and Licking. 12 and Fingering. 11 and Touching. 9 and Kissing. 8 and Wondering. Welcome To Our Fucked Up Generation...
Vote: has 77.66 % from 1641 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, sex
Why did the white guy go to the black guy's yard sale? To get his stuff back.
Vote: has 77.64 % from 555 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, racist, white people
Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Vote: has 77.64 % from 144 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Chuck Norris doesn't expect the unexpected. He knows the unexpected.
Vote: has 77.64 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Life Lemons Saying: White Guy: When Life gives you lemons enjoy them with friends. Black Guy: When Life gives you lemons sell them, buy a gun, point it at life and say "More lemons mother Fucker".
Vote: has 77.64 % from 284 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, racist