Best jokes ever

As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter’s office. There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. “Oh, come on, quit joking,” snickered one. “You didn’t really do that, did you?” “You would never get through basic training,” scoffed another. The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, “Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?”
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has 77.74 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: military
A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?" The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!" The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"
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has 77.74 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Home is where the wifi connects automatically.
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has 77.74 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: IT
Teacher: If you eat fish? Student: It's good for my eyes. Teacher: If you don't eat fish? Student: It's good for the fish!
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has 77.74 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: school
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. The teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnnie. "Well I can see that," she said. "But what is so exciting about a period." "I don't know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one and Daddy totally freaked out and Mommy fainted"
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has 77.74 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
Drink water, let's surprise the liver!
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, health
Q: If Bigamy is having one wife too much, what is Monogamy? A: The Same!
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mean, wife
Q: How did the butcher introduce his wife? A: Meet Patty.
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? A: Time will tell.
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, time
Statistics say that women think they are smarter than men because they can fake orgasms. Men say "Big deal. We can fake a whole relationship just for a shag."
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men
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