Best jokes ever

Me: "I'm finally happy!" Life: "Lol, wait a sec."
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life
Every time I say that I'm ready to order in a restaurant, what I really mean is that I'm not ready but the panic will help me make a decision.
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, time
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal
A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severly bleeding. The officer asked, "Can you describe the person who did this to you?" The Irishman replied, "That's what I was doing when he hit me."
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: cop
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!" "Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: old people
A man is in a bar talking to his friend. ‘Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house.’ ‘Did he get anything? asks his friend. ‘Yes,’ says the man. ‘A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home drunk.’
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!". The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dog, game
What do you call Americans pushing a car up the hill? a: White Power. What do you call Asians pushing a car up the hill? a: Asian Power. What do you call Mexicans pushing a car up the hill? a: Grand Theft Auto.
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has 77.49 % from 594 votes. More jokes about: racist
What did Stevie Wonder say when he found out he was blind? "Well, at least I'm not black."
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has 77.49 % from 408 votes. More jokes about: racist
Q: What did the penis say to the condom? A: Cover me im going in!
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has 77.49 % from 726 votes. More jokes about: sex
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