Best jokes ever

Teacher (on phone): "You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?" Voice: "This is my father."
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has 77.41 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: dad, health, kids, teacher
Q: What's the difference between death and taxes? A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.
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has 77.41 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: death, political, tax, time
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
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has 77.41 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
16 and Pregnant. 15 and Fucking. 14 and Sucking. 13 and Licking. 12 and Fingering. 11 and Touching. 9 and Kissing. 8 and Wondering. Welcome To Our Fucked Up Generation...
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has 77.40 % from 1769 votes. More jokes about: age, sex
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this she can’t stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: “What’s threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?” The woman replies: “It’s Frank, the midget.”
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has 77.40 % from 473 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
Joey and Katie are sitting in school. Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question. "Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?" Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil. "Jesus Christ almighty! !" Exclaimed Katie. "Correct." Says the teacher. So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up "Who created Heaven and Earth?" Katie (Again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil "Jesus Christ almighty!" she exclaims. "Correct again." Says the teacher. So the next day, for a 3rd time, The teacher asks Katie "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?" Katie (again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil again, and screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I am going to crack it in half!"
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has 77.40 % from 854 votes. More jokes about: god, heaven, kids, religious, school
Yo mama is so stupid that she bought curtains for her computer just because it had Windows.
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has 77.39 % from 276 votes. More jokes about: IT, stupid, Yo mama
Q: What did the penis say to the condom? A: Cover me im going in!
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has 77.38 % from 718 votes. More jokes about: sex
An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football!" A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says - "Touchdown, tie score!" After about five minutes the old man farts again and says - "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7!" Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, - "Touchdown, tie score!" Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says - "Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14!" Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed. The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?" The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides!"
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has 77.37 % from 329 votes. More jokes about: sport
Chuck Norris won the Boston marathon in New York.
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has 77.37 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
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