Best jokes ever

Two children, Johnny and Alex were sitting outside a clinic. Alex was crying very loudly. Johnny: Why are you crying? Alex: I came here for a blood test. Johnny: So? Are you afraid? Alex: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger. After hearing this Johnny started weeping making Alex feel surprised as well as curious and Alex asked: Why are you crying now? Johnny: I came for a urine test!
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has 77.19 % from 966 votes. More jokes about: black humor, hospital
Police: Where do u live? Me: With my parents. Police: Where does ur parents live? Me: With me. Police: Where do u all live? Me: Together. Police: Where is ur house? Me: Next to my neighbors house. Police: Where is your neighbors house? Me: If i tell you u wont believe me. Police: Tell me Me: Next to my house...
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has 77.18 % from 283 votes. More jokes about: cop, family, life
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
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has 77.18 % from 665 votes. More jokes about: age, food, insulting, Yo mama
My wife told me, "Don't get upset if someone calls you fat." "You're much bigger than that."
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has 77.17 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat, mean
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in. One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left. As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?" "He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
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has 77.17 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: food, life
4 reasons why I curse 1) Because I fucking want to. 2) Because I fucking can. 3) Because I don't give a fuck. 4) Because my mom isn't around.
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has 77.16 % from 468 votes. More jokes about: dirty
On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
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has 77.13 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, life, new year, time
Will was trying to to teach his son the evils of alcohol. He put a worm in a glass of water & another in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived while the one in the whiskey curled up & d*ed. "All right, son," Said Will, "what does that show you?" "Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol you will not have worms."
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has 77.13 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dad, kids
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
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has 77.13 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dog
Students in the class (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) When teacher say tomorrow will be exam (O_O) (O_O) (O_O) (O_O) (O_O)(O_O) During the exam (→_→) (←_←) (→_→) (←_←) (→_→)(←_←) When monitor comes in (↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓) In the end of the exam (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏)
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has 77.10 % from 325 votes. More jokes about: school
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