Best jokes ever

Baby, baby, baby ooh! Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber? Daughter: No, I'm watching porn. Mom: Oh, thank goodness.
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More jokes about: life, music, sex
Davie Jones is afraid of Chuck Norris' Locker.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo momma so stupid when she went to Subway, she asked for a ticket to Chicago.
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More jokes about: Yo mama
One day a man was hiking down an old dirt road when he noticed, down an embankment, a man tied naked, face down to a large fallen tree. The hiker ran down to the man, and while removing his backpack asked, "What happened to you?" The tied up man began to tell him, "I picked up a hitchhiker and a few miles down the road he held me up. He told me to pull over and took my car, my money, and all of my clothes. Then he tied me up to this tree." The hiker unzipped his fly and said, "Boy, this just isn't your day, is it?"
Vote: has 76.83 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
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Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
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More jokes about: chemistry
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
The seven dwarves are in Rome and they go on a tour of the city. After a while they go to the Vatican and meet the Pope. Grumpy, for once, seems to have a lot to say. He keeps asking the Pontiff questions about the church and, in particular, the nuns. "Your Holiness, do you have any really short nuns?" Grumpy asks. "No, my son, all of our nuns are at least five feet tall," smiles the Pope. "Are you sure? I mean, you wouldn't have any nuns that are, say, about my height? Maybe a little shorter?" "I'm afraid not. Why do you ask?" "No reason," replies Grumpy. "But you're positive? Nobody in a habit that's about three feet tall, maybe two-and-a-half feet tall?" "I'm sure, my vertically-challenged son," says the Pope, trying not show his curiosity. "Okay," moans Grumpy. So the Pope listens to the dwarves as they leave the building. "What'd he say? What'd he say?" chant the other six dwarves. Grumpy mutters, "He said they don't have any." And the other six start chanting, "Grumpy fucked a penguin! Grumpy fucked a penguin!"
Vote: has 76.83 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, church, disgusting
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
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More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris