Q: How do you know a blonde's having a bad day?
A: Her tampon's behind her ear and she can't find her pencil...
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Q: What did the blonde say when she tried driving stick for the first time?
A: "How do you shift this thing?" (you make jacking off motions).
What’s the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
They know how many men went down on the Titanic.
Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp.
After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you."
The first said, "I wish I were smarter."
So, she became a redhead.
The second blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than she is."
She became a brunette.
The third blond ordered, "I wish I were smarter than both of them!"
So, she became a man.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy.
The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish.
The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells "Eagle!" She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away.
The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out "Salmon!" She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn.
The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish.
She panics.
"Crap!"
Why don't blondes like to breastfeed their babies?
It hurts to boil their nipples!
How do you guess a blond played at you’re computer?
The joystick is on the chair.
She is so blonde, she thinks that Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
"Run faster....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth."
What happened to the blond ice hockey team? They drown at spring training.
There were once 3 blondes stranded on a deserted island, and could not think of a way to get off it.
One of them tripped over what happened to be a magic lamp.
Dusting it off, the genie came out.
"I will grant you each a wish," he said.
"Why not," thought the blondes.
"It's worth a try."
"I want to be the world's best swimmer," one said, "so I can swim off of the island".
She then jumped in to the ocean and swam away.
"I want to be a bird," one said, and flew away immediately.
The third and last blonde thought for a while.
"I want to be a man."
She was instantly transformed into a man, and she walked over the bridge to the mainland.