Best jokes ever

Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
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has 76.68 % from 582 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One Sunday morning,a little girl and her mother go to church. Halfway through, the little girl tells her mother she's going to be sick. Her mother tells her to go in the bushes behind the church. The girl leaves and comes back after about five minutes. Her mother asks her if she threw up. "Yes," the girl says. "But I didn't have to go all the way "round the back. There was a box near the front door that said "For the Sick."
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has 76.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: kids
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"
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has 76.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, husband, love, wife
Q: What did Snow White say to Pinocchio when she was sitting on his face? A: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
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has 76.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started Writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a ****-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus.
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has 76.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: cop, old people, travel, wife, work
Me: I just bought Tupacs of Eminems for 50 Cents. Friend: That's Ludacris. How Kanye West your money like that?
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has 76.67 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, money, music
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
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has 76.67 % from 481 votes. More jokes about: dirty, redneck, sex, sport
Is it true that 5 minutes of laugh prolongs your life by 5 minutes? It depends who you are laughing at – it may as well shorten it...
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has 76.67 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: life
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
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has 76.66 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: chemistry
I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with her fitness trainer. Me: "Okay, this isn't working out."
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has 76.66 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: love, sex, sport
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