Best jokes ever

How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares?
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has 76.99 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
We were so poor, we had to go to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.
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has 76.99 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: food, money
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
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has 76.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, women
A younboy gave his mum a big wrapped up birthday present on a Saturday. She opened it up and it was a tea pot. She said "What a wonderful tea port darling - thank you." The boy said "That's good." Mum said "However I already have a tea pot." The boy replied "No you haven't - I broke it."
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has 76.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: birthday, kids
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started Writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a ****-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus.
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has 76.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: cop, old people, travel, wife, work
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.
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has 76.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, Hitler, work
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
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has 76.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, geek, medical, memory, science
The role of terminator was originaly played by Chuck Norris, but they decided against it as no-one would want to shit their pants for two hours strait.
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has 76.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo momma so dumb she threw a ball at the ground and missed.
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has 76.95 % from 417 votes. More jokes about: insulting, student, Yo mama
What does a graduate student with a science degree ask? "Why does it work?" What does a graduate student with an engineering degree ask? "How does it work?" What does a graduate student with an accounting degree ask? "How much will it cost?" What does a graduate student with a liberal arts degree ask? "Do you want fries with that?"
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has 76.95 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: school
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