Best jokes ever

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
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More jokes about: men
Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!
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More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, flirt, food, sex
A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking. The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in." The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."
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More jokes about: communication, dirty, geography, mean, sex
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator? A: The elevator can raise a child.
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More jokes about: football, insulting, kids, sport
What happens if you upset a cannibal? You get into hot water.
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More jokes about: black humor
Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.
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More jokes about: age, birthday, health, life
I had to get rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
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More jokes about: animal, husband
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
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More jokes about: IT
Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
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More jokes about: dirty