Best jokes ever

A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, "What is 2+2?" The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, "4." Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, "4.0" Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, "What do you want it to be?"
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has 76.67 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, math
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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has 76.66 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, nerd
A man and a blonde are at an ATM. The man says "I know you'r pincode, it's ****" and the blonde says "No it's not! It's 4829!"
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has 76.66 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Yo momma so stupid, she put 2 quarters to her ears and thought she was listenin’ to 50 Cent.
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has 76.65 % from 736 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
A man stumbles across an old lamp while he was at his attorney's office. Figuring his luck has to change, he rubs the lamp and out pops a genie. The genie explains to him that he gets three wishes, and whatever he wishes for, his wife gets double. The man asks for his first wish. "The first thing I want is a million dollars." The genie says, "Okay, but you know that your wife gets two million." The man said, "That's okay. My second wish is for a large house on a remote tropical paradise." The genie says, "Then your wife will have two beautiful houses." The man replied, "That's fine. Now for my third wish. I want you to beat me half to death."
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has 76.65 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: death, genie, mean, money, wife
Little Johnny’s 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet. “Johnny,” she says, “what comes after ‘O’?” Johnny says, “Yeah!”
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has 76.64 % from 295 votes. More jokes about: kids, little Johnny
Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
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has 76.63 % from 590 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A man sees a fine looking woman at a bar. He steps over to her an says, "Hey baby, let me suck on your nipples." She says, "Watch it buddy, I'll have my boyfriend kick your ass." He laughs and says, "Alright, why don't I just give you a big sloppy kiss then." She says, "Listen, if you say one more thing to me, I will have my man kill you." "This is my final offer", he says, "I'll hold you upside-down, pour beer into your pussy, and drink from your cunt." She gets up, walks over to her boyfriend, tells him this guy said he was going to lick her tits. He yells, "I'll kill him!" She then tells him he was going to kiss her. By now he's pissed and starts walking in his direction. She says, "Wait! He also said he would hang me by my ankles, pour beer down my twat, and drink from me!" Her boy friend stops and say's "Sorry babe, I can't fuck with anyone who can drink that much beer."
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has 76.62 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Chuck Norris once kicked Hulk in the face, so Hulk ran into the woods. He is now known as Shrek.
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has 76.61 % from 332 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Jimmy's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?" His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Jimmy." Jimmy says, "Now! I can see why they threw him out!
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has 76.61 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: baby, heaven, kids
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