Best jokes ever

Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
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has 76.67 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: dog, relationship, single
A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, "What is 2+2?" The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, "4." Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, "4.0" Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, "What do you want it to be?"
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has 76.67 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, math
Q: Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? A: Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say: "Bach, Bach, Bach."
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has 76.66 % from 234 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, music
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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has 76.66 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, nerd
A man and a blonde are at an ATM. The man says "I know you'r pincode, it's ****" and the blonde says "No it's not! It's 4829!"
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has 76.66 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Yo momma so stupid, she put 2 quarters to her ears and thought she was listenin’ to 50 Cent.
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has 76.65 % from 736 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
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has 76.63 % from 590 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Why are black people so good at Basketball? Cause all you have to do is RUN, SHOOT and STEAL.
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has 76.63 % from 3065 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist, sport
More gay banter... Four men got together at a reunion. All of them had sons and they started discussing them. The first man said his son was doing so well, he now owned a factory, manufacturing furniture. Why, just the other day he gave his best friend a whole house full of brand new furniture. The second man said his son was doing just as well. He was a manager at a car sales firm. Why, just the other day he gave his best friend a Ferrari. The third man said his was doing well too. He was a manager at a bank. Why,just the other day he gave his best friend a the money to buy a house. The fourth man just shook his head. He said his son was gay and hadn't amounted to much. But he must be doing something right because,just the other day he was given a house, furniture and a Ferrari by his friends!
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has 76.62 % from 434 votes. More jokes about: gay
A man sees a fine looking woman at a bar. He steps over to her an says, "Hey baby, let me suck on your nipples." She says, "Watch it buddy, I'll have my boyfriend kick your ass." He laughs and says, "Alright, why don't I just give you a big sloppy kiss then." She says, "Listen, if you say one more thing to me, I will have my man kill you." "This is my final offer", he says, "I'll hold you upside-down, pour beer into your pussy, and drink from your cunt." She gets up, walks over to her boyfriend, tells him this guy said he was going to lick her tits. He yells, "I'll kill him!" She then tells him he was going to kiss her. By now he's pissed and starts walking in his direction. She says, "Wait! He also said he would hang me by my ankles, pour beer down my twat, and drink from me!" Her boy friend stops and say's "Sorry babe, I can't fuck with anyone who can drink that much beer."
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has 76.62 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
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