Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
"Shay, buddy, whats a Breathalyzer?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool. "Well, Id have to say that its a bag that tells you when youve drunk way too much," answered the equally wasted gent. "Ah hell, whaddya know? Ive been married to one of those for years!"
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, science, wife
Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: teacher, women
Sand is created by Chuck Norris shouting at rocks.
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A drunk goes to court. The judge says, ‘You’ve been brought here for drinking.’ The drunk says, ‘Great. Let’s get started.’
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet. Amanpreet agrees and they’re off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th. ”Help me find my ball. Look over there,” he says to Jon. After a few minutes, neither has any luck. Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Amanpreet secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. ”I’ve found my ball!” he announces. ”After all of the years we’ve been partners and playing together,” Jon says, “you’d cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?” ”What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!” ”And you’re a liar, too!” Jon says. ”I’ll have you know I’ve been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!”
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: golf, lawyer, money
Chuck Norris went an hour without killing... just to kill some time.
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time