Best jokes ever

A guy arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find his lover in bed with a young, handsome boy. Just as he was about to storm out of the house, his lover stopped him with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about:" "Driving home, I saw this young guy, looking poor and tired, I offered him a ride. He was hungry, so I brought him home and fed him some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator. His shoes were worn out so I gave him a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style. He was cold so I gave him that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn't suit you. His trousers were worn out so I gave him a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore. Then as he was about to leave the house, he paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your lover doesn't use anymore?' "And so, here we are!"
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has 76.36 % from 538 votes. More jokes about: driving, food, gay, sex
Q: Why can't atheists solve exponential equations? A: Because they don't believe in higher powers.
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has 76.36 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: atheist, math, religious
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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has 76.35 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, life, love, nerd
Kanye West compared himself to Michelangelo, Picasso, Walt Disney and Steve Jobs. Apparently none of them could sing, either.
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has 76.35 % from 212 votes. More jokes about: life, music
A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university. After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast. Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ? The man hesitated for a second looking confused. Man: But I thought we were in the same class.
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has 76.34 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, programmer
Two old ladies are at the movies. "Psst," says one old lady. "I think the guy next to me is beating off." "What makes you say that?" "He's using my hand."
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has 76.34 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, old people
"Mr. Ben, I am asking for your daughter's hand." "Why? I don't get it, don't you have a hand?" "I do sir, but I'm sick and tired with my own hand sir!"
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has 76.32 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation
Hipsters hate rivers. Too mainstream.
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has 76.32 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: hipster
I busted a mirror the other day. That's seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
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has 76.32 % from 16 votes. More jokes about:
Q: Why do blondes put rulers on their foreheads? A: They want to measure their intelligence.
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has 76.32 % from 16 votes. More jokes about:
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