Best jokes ever

When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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has 76.49 % from 321 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
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has 76.49 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: animal, democrat
A blonde meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic. "Everything ok with your car now?" "Yes, thank goodness," the blonde replies. "Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?" "Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
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has 76.49 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, mechanic, money
Will was trying to to teach his son the evils of alcohol. He put a worm in a glass of water & another in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived while the one in the whiskey curled up & d*ed. "All right, son," Said Will, "what does that show you?" "Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol you will not have worms."
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has 76.49 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dad, kids
I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
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has 76.48 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: black humor, fish, funeral, money, old people
This older Jewish man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to receive the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. "Yes Dad, what is it?" "Don’t be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me… your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife…"
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has 76.48 % from 390 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, doctor, jewish, life
Tyrone' s 1st day in the first grade he comes home crying. When his mother ask why he replays. "The teacher told us to say our abc' s and all the little white boys could say them and I could only get to e why is that." Mom says "cause u black and they white." Next day Tyrone is crying again . "What's wrong today Tyrone" his mother ask. Tyrone said "teacher told us to count to 100 and all the little white boys did but I could only get to 10 why is that." Mom says "cause u black and they white." Next day he comes home smiling. "What happened today Tyrone?" Tyrone says mama "we went to the bathroom and my thing was biggest of all . Is that cause I'm black and they white." Mama says "no Tyrone it's cause u 17 and they 6."
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has 76.47 % from 2191 votes. More jokes about: age, black people, racist, school, teacher
Davie Jones is afraid of Chuck Norris' Locker.
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has 76.46 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally, the drunk replies: "No use knocking' mate, there's no paper in this one either."
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has 76.45 % from 175 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, catholic, church, drunk
"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
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has 76.44 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, husband, kids
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