Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris once kicked Hulk in the face, so Hulk ran into the woods. He is now known as Shrek.
Vote:
has 76.61 % from 332 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Jimmy's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?" His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Jimmy." Jimmy says, "Now! I can see why they threw him out!
Vote:
has 76.61 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: baby, heaven, kids
How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday morning? Tell her a joke on Friday night.
Vote:
has 76.59 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: blonde
At a parole hearing, the officer asked, "Tell me, why should you be released early?" The inmate responded, "It's bec..." Officer: Yes? Inmate: I think I have.. Officer: Go on. Inmate: Can I Please finish my sentence? Officer: Sure. Parole denied.
Vote:
has 76.59 % from 67 votes. More jokes about:
If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better" Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?
Vote:
has 76.59 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, nerd, technology
A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later, delivered a baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified to find an incredibly-ugly baby. He went to his wife and said, "I cannot possibly be the father of that hideous child. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered." When his wife blushed, he became suspicious, and demanded, "Have you been fooling around on me?" His wife confessed, "Not this time."
Vote:
has 76.59 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: beauty, couple, family, kids
Kanye West compared himself to Michelangelo, Picasso, Walt Disney and Steve Jobs. Apparently none of them could sing, either.
Vote:
has 76.59 % from 219 votes. More jokes about: life, music
Teacher: "Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus four?" Class: "At once!"
Vote:
has 76.57 % from 756 votes. More jokes about: math, school, teacher
A teacher asks the children to discuss what their fathers do for a living. Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail." Little Jack says: "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better." All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny. Teacher says: "Johnny, what does your Dad do?" Johnny says: "My Dad is dead." "I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?" "He turned blue and shit on the carpet."
Vote:
has 76.57 % from 561 votes. More jokes about: dad, doctor, lawyer, little Johnny, teacher
Little Johnny’s 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet. “Johnny,” she says, “what comes after ‘O’?” Johnny says, “Yeah!”
Vote:
has 76.56 % from 294 votes. More jokes about: kids, little Johnny
<<<205206207208
More jokes →
Page 205 of 1429.