Best jokes ever

Q: What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy? A: Bubblegum and you should be ashamed of yourself.
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has 76.22 % from 935 votes. More jokes about: sex
What does a graduate student with a science degree ask? "Why does it work?" What does a graduate student with an engineering degree ask? "How does it work?" What does a graduate student with an accounting degree ask? "How much will it cost?" What does a graduate student with a liberal arts degree ask? "Do you want fries with that?"
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has 76.21 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: school
Bill and John, in their 80's decided to visit the Madam for one last sexual encounter. The Madam noticed Bill and John approaching, she quickly prepared 2 blow-up dolls, placing one in each room on the bed. Bill and John told the Madam that "We are here for the last time". The Madam sent Bill upstairs to the room on the left and John to the room on the right. After an hour Bill and John left the rooms, paid the Madam and left. Bill and John were very quiet until Bill said: "How was yours"? John said, "I think she was dead". John said, "How was yours"? Bill said, "I think she was a witch". John replied, "How did you know she was a witch"? Bill said, "Well I got on top of her, bit her nipple, she farted and flew out the window."
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has 76.21 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, money, old people, sex
One day, Bob came home from school very happy and that got his mother suspicious; "What’s the matter Bob? How come you’re that happy?" "You can’t even imagine-..! Today at school, I planted a bomb on the teacher’s chair and we all laughed sooo hard!" The mother upset: "Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? Don’t you know that you’re going to be suspended? How you think you’re gonna show up in the school again tomorrow?" And Bob, with a stupid smile on his face: "School? What school?"
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has 76.20 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.
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has 76.20 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: coding, IT, nerd, programmer, technology
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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has 76.20 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, nerd
A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway. He started chasing after the speeder . When he got close he's saw it was a blonde woman who was actually knitting while driving. The cop yelled, "Pull over!" The blonde shouted back, "No! It's a sweater!"
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has 76.19 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Patient: "Doctor, do you think that I shall live until I am ninety?" Doctor: "How old are you now?" Patient: "40" Doctor: "Do you drink, gamble, smoke or do you have any other vice?" Patient: "No. I don’t drink. I don’t gamble. I don’t smoke. I have no vice." Doctor: "Then why do you want to live for another fifty years?"
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has 76.19 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, doctor, game, life
"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
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has 76.19 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, husband, kids
New generic drug replacement for Viagra – it's called Mycoxaflopin.
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has 76.19 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: drug, medical, viagra
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