Someone tried to stab Chuck Norris in the stomach, and the knife bent on his rock-hard abs.
Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
Chuck Norris does not open doors. Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Underneath China it says "Made in Chuck Norris".
Chuck Norris can choke you to life.
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions