Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
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Chuck Norris once rolled a dice.
It landed on tails.
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Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
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Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
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Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.
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Chuck Norris has 5 bathtubs, they are known as the Great Lakes.
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Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way.
We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
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When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears.
Candyman ain't stupid.
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Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
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