Best jokes ever

As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter’s office. There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. “Oh, come on, quit joking,” snickered one. “You didn’t really do that, did you?” “You would never get through basic training,” scoffed another. The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, “Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?”
Vote: has 76.26 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
Stacy: You know Tracy, sometimes I don't understand life. Tracy: What do you mean? Stacy: When we were a younger, we learnt to talk and to walk. At school, we always have to sit down and shut up...
Vote: has 76.26 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
Teacher: Ramu, how do you spell "crocodile"? Ramu: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" Teacher: No, that's wrong Ramu: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Vote: has 76.26 % from 164 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher
There's this black kid that goes to school and realizes teachers treat him differently than the white kids. So, he goes home, paints himself white and shows his dad. His dad beats the crud outta him. He shows his mother, "Hey Ma, Look! I'm white!" He gets beat by his mom too. Lastly, he shows his Grandmother, "Grandma, Look! I'm white! She beats him badly with her cane and sends him to his room. Later, his dad comes into his room and asks, "Son, did you learn anything out of this?" And the boy replies, "Duh! I've only been white for an hour and I already hate three niggers!"
Vote: has 76.22 % from 331 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, racist, school, teacher, white people
A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."
Vote: has 76.22 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: love, marriage, time, women
Yo' Mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Vote: has 76.22 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama is so stupid that she bought curtains for her computer just because it had Windows.
Vote: has 76.22 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, stupid, Yo mama
During a war warrior shouted against 3 ladies Warrior: I am going to r*pe you all. Younger lady: But please leave our grand mother. Grand mother: Shut up, war is war.
Vote: has 76.20 % from 234 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Why can't Chinese couples have Caucasian babies? Because two Wongs don't make a white!
Vote: has 76.20 % from 206 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, racist
Two blokes sitting in a bar, 1 says, "After 10 years of marriage, s*x is down to three times a year." The other replies, "Same here pal, as a matter of fact if my wife didn't sleep with her mouth open I'd have none at all."
Vote: has 76.20 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty