Best jokes ever

An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?" "Yes, ma'am." "And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"
has 76.25 % from 313 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, masturbation, money, sex
Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick? A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.
has 76.25 % from 197 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind. Son: Dad im over here.
has 76.24 % from 936 votes. More jokes about: masturbation, sex
Two computers in the same LAN chatting one night: PC1: I was having a nightmare last night, it was so horrible. PC2: Why, what did you dream about ? PC1: I was sleeping, dreaming 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 when all of a sudden a 2 popped up!
has 76.24 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT
A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! DOCTOR! You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!” The doctor replied, “Show me.” So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain. Then she poked her knee and yelled OW. She poked her forehead and screamed again. She was about to continue when the doctor said, “That’s enough, let me think this over.” He thought for about a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is. You broke your finger.”
has 76.24 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, women
Yo mama is so fat she fell in love and broke it.
has 76.24 % from 562 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, love, Yo mama
What did Stevie Wonder say when he found out he was blind? "Well, at least I'm not black."
has 76.22 % from 331 votes. More jokes about: racist
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
has 76.22 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: military
The church is struck by lightning. The insurance company refuses to pay out for damages incurred, as there is a specific disclaimer clause for "An act of God", which, amongst others, lightning is classified as. The priest goes to every household and asks for a donation to rebuild the church. One Christian farmer protested, "I'm sorry, Pastor, but I can't give money to Somebody who set His own house alight!"
has 76.22 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: christian, church, god, life, priest
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
has 76.22 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, life
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