Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
Yo Mama so stupid she put a peephole in a glass door!
Yo momma is so fat when she walked by the TV i missed 3 episodes!
I don't know whats happening in this country. You've got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children. Its a nightmare... you just don't know whether to carry sweets or money!
Yo' Mama's so fat, her scale reads "Game Over."
Yo mamma is so fat, her husband has to stand up in bed each morning to see if it's daylight.
There are three blonds that went to the store. After they get done in the store one of the blondes realizes that she locked her keys in her car. The first blond tried using a screwdriver to unlock the door. The second blond tried using a hanger. The third blond tried using pen. While they are trying to unlock the door the second blond says "We better hurry up guys its about to rain and the tops down!"
Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemies but remember their name. 3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they're in trouble again. 4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them. 5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk!
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here." Helium doesn't react.