Best jokes ever

A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully, slowly climbed up onto a counter stool. He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae. “Crushed nuts?” asked the server. “No,” he answered. “Bad knees.”
Vote: has 76.20 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, old people
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
Vote: has 76.20 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church... everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
Vote: has 76.19 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: church, dating, dirty
A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! DOCTOR! You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!” The doctor replied, “Show me.” So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain. Then she poked her knee and yelled OW. She poked her forehead and screamed again. She was about to continue when the doctor said, “That’s enough, let me think this over.” He thought for about a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is. You broke your finger.”
Vote: has 76.19 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, health, women
A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down. The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?" "I liked her." "Why did you raped the boy?" "I liked him." "Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?" "I'm afraid I'll like you…"
Vote: has 76.19 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, lawyer
There's a black and a Mexican in a car, who's driving? The Cop
Vote: has 76.18 % from 243 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, cop, mexican, racist
A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of s*x education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture. Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of s*x education from the class. One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs." "Very good, William," cooed the teacher. "My mommy had a baby," said little Esther. "Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher. Finally, little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him. "I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians. And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns." The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?" "It'll teach those Indians not to fuck with the Lone Ranger."
Vote: has 76.16 % from 168 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny
Q: What did the penis say to the condom? A: Cover me im going in!
Vote: has 76.15 % from 649 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Mom can i buy some heels? No. Mom can i buy a bra? No. Mom can i buy a dress? No. Mom can i buy a barbie doll? No. You never let me buy anything! Shut up, Justin.
Vote: has 76.11 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, music
All men are created equal. Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 76.11 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris