Best jokes ever

You mama is so fat when we went to the beach the whales sang, "We are family."
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Twin brother were in a same class. Teacher ask them to write their father’s name. They wrote different name. Teacher was shocked and ask them why did they wrote the different names. They reply, ” Now you wont say that we cheated”.
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Girl: I get horny everytime I hear something sexual, it's weird I know, but anyway, what's your name? Me: Sir BJ Anal The 69th.
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Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that's how us guys feel about push-up bras!
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I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that decimals had a point.
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What did the blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant? I hope it's not mine.
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"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?" "Well, my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait until it settles down!"
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Why do black people have nice shoes and nice cars but not nice houses? Because they haven't figured out how to steal houses yet!
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A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea. The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?" She said that she did. He asked, "Does it hurt you?" She said no. The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant." The woman was mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?" The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?"
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Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
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