Best jokes ever

A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, "What is 2+2?" The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, "4." Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, "4.0" Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, "What do you want it to be?"
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More jokes about: lawyer, math
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter’s office. There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. “Oh, come on, quit joking,” snickered one. “You didn’t really do that, did you?” “You would never get through basic training,” scoffed another. The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, “Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?”
Vote: has 76.26 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
Stacy: You know Tracy, sometimes I don't understand life. Tracy: What do you mean? Stacy: When we were a younger, we learnt to talk and to walk. At school, we always have to sit down and shut up...
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More jokes about: school
Yo mama is so fat, she needs two Facebook accounts for her profile picture.
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More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Teacher: Ramu, how do you spell "crocodile"? Ramu: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" Teacher: No, that's wrong Ramu: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Vote: has 76.26 % from 164 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher
Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on.
Vote: has 76.24 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."
Vote: has 76.22 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: love, marriage, time, women
During a war warrior shouted against 3 ladies Warrior: I am going to r*pe you all. Younger lady: But please leave our grand mother. Grand mother: Shut up, war is war.
Vote: has 76.20 % from 234 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Why can't Chinese couples have Caucasian babies? Because two Wongs don't make a white!
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More jokes about: baby, racist