Best jokes ever

Why'd the Mexican army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo? There was only two vans.
Vote: has 75.45 % from 213 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: mexican, military, racist
Asians are so bad at driving, I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.
Vote: has 75.43 % from 172 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, insulting, racist, travel, war
A blind man ran into Chuck Norris and got his sight back. Unfortunately, the first and last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.
Vote: has 75.43 % from 88 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Teacher: Billy, name two pronouns. Billy: Who, me? Teacher: Very good!
Vote: has 75.42 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it? A blonde tried to shoot herself!
Vote: has 75.42 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
Yo mama is so hairy, Kingkong got jealous.
Vote: has 75.41 % from 181 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, insulting, Yo mama
"Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too!"
Vote: has 75.41 % from 181 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
My penis was in the Guiness Book of Records... until the librarian kicked me out.
Vote: has 75.41 % from 1430 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Yo mama so stupid she stuck her face into a book to make a Facebook.
Vote: has 75.40 % from 775 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Facebook, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
A man checks into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought, "I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab." He popped into a phone booth near  the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo.  He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel. When back in the room he figures, "What the heck, I'll give her a call." "Hello," the woman says. She sounded sexy.  "Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks... We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?" She says, "That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."
Vote: has 75.39 % from 217 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, phone, sex