Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets; he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
A Klondike bar would do anything for a Chuck Norris.
The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.
If you stare at the ameican flag long enough you'll see a 3D image of Chuck Norris.
Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.
Chuck Norris made a mistake once and it corrected itself.
Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.