Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets; he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea. Until it met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Twice.
Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
Chuck Norris didn't survive the first night in Minecraft, the first night survived Chuck Norris.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.