Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
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What time is it when Chuck Norris knocks on your door?
Too Late!
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Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
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The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
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Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
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Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
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For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one.
For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
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Chuck Norris was a comedian, but everyone started to die of laughter.
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Chuck Norris can flip a coin and make it land on both sides at the same time.
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