Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets; he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.
Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Once Chuck Norris went to Mc Donalds and had a pizza.
Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.