Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
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Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.
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The cake is a lie, Chuck Norris is THE TRUTH.
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When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t swim, we beats the water into submission.
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The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun.
The Earth is stationary.
The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
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Chuck Norris knows your reading this...
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Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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