Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets; he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling. He already knows the outcome.
If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
Chuck Norris CAN handle the truth.
Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact? A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
Chuck Norris can milk birds.