Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea.
Until it met Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen.
Twice.
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Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
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Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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Chuck Norris didn't survive the first night in Minecraft, the first night survived Chuck Norris.
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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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Chuck Norris once cried just to see what it was like.
The end result was the creation of life.
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