Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling.
He already knows the outcome.
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If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
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Chuck Norris CAN handle the truth.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
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Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
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James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
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Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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