Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
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Chuck Norris is the reason Dorothy must follow the yellow brick road.
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Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Chuck Norris once rolled a dice.
It landed on tails.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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You cannot escape the power of Chuck Norris.
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There is a way to kill Chuck Norris, it is...
Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.
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With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
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Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
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