Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
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It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honour."
Testified the man charged with indecent exposure.
"Explain that statement!" demanded the Judge.
"Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most in a woman... So I showed her."
Two old friends met by chance on the street.
After chatting for some time, one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll need to tell me."
The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, "How soon do you need to know?"
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Joke has 76.01 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: communication, friendship, memory, old people, time
Relationship status - table for one but drinks for two.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a deserted island together.
The island is 20 miles from the nearest inhabited island so they all decide to try to swim there.
The redhead makes it 10 miles, is exhausted, gives up, and drowns.
The brunette makes it 15 miles before she's too tired to go any farther and drowns.
The blonde gets 19 miles away from the deserted island, decides she's too tired to go any farther, and swims all the way back to the deserted island.
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A little boy wakes up in the middle of the night and walks into his parents room and sees them having sex.
The little boy, traumatized, runs out of the room crying.
"You should go check on him, thats really going to be something you need to explain," said the mother.
The father laughed it off with a traditional "he will get over it," and continued to chuckle about the whole situation.
After some additional prodding from the mother the father agrees to go talk to the little boy.
As he is walking down the hallway to his sons room he hears an empty thumping sound coming from his sons room.
Thump - Thump - squish - Thump- Thump.
The father, very confused, slams the door open and sees his son balls deep, pounding the shit out of his grandmothers asshole.
Just really going to town on it.
The father screams "What the hell are you doing?"
The boy replies, "It's not so funny when its your mom, is it?"
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?
Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
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A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta.
He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!"
The Madam is astonished.
"But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal."
The trucker replies, "Listen darlin’, I’m not horny – I’m just homesick."
Little Johnny came home after school:
"Daddy, I have a bad grade in English language."
"Why?" asked his father.
"Well, the teacher asked us the following question: "Mary entered the forest with John and came out of the forest with Mike. What is Mary?"
"How come what Mary is? A whore, of course," said the father.
"That's what I said, but the teacher answered Mary was a subject."
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